Good bye 2013, you were a year of pain, new beginnings and growth. I have learn lots and hope that I got the lessons clearly because I don't want to be taught them again.
Since I have always believed that you only start a year with people that you want to end it with, I celebrated with a party of one. Because I'm pretty sure, I'm gonna be here next year.
Happy 2014! I have decided that this is my year, no matter what anyone else says. It's going to be a good year. I am not afraid of being by myself, I am OK with my thoughts. Seems like the voices in my head are getting along well, these days. Though they agree that they have some changing to do. I was told along time ago that if you share your resolutions, you are more likely to stick with them since the accountability factor goes up. So here it goes
My resolutions are
I will learn to let go of things that weigh me down. Simply because they are getting to heavy or hurt too much.
I will remember that I have no control of other peoples choices, and even when it effects my life. I still choose how it effects me
I will have no regrets this year, just lessons learned
I will run 2 half marathons (even if it kills me)
I will take time to slow down and enjoy where I am in life
I will be myself, I often mold myself to who ever I am around out of fear of rejection, but from now on-I will be me.
I will choke down my own advice
I will stop pushing people away, and learn to accept help
I will rededicate myself to my callings and responsibilities I have let slip.
I will stress less...hahahaha...I'll try
I am excited to see how much Lucy will grow this year. Its fun to look back at pictures and remember what she was doing last year compared to this year. And it just keeps getting better.
Onward and upward we go, can't wait to see what I'm doing this time next year.
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Monday, December 30, 2013
Christmas
Merry Christmas!
Christmas was a little different this year. I worked Christmas Eve and Lucy went to her Dads house for the day so we opened her presents that night. She was rather excided about her cot! Silly kid. We put cookies out for Santa, but I'm not sure she got the concept. Even when she found the empty plate and toy...Katie flew in from Texas on Christmas day. I picked her up from the airport and we headed to the salon to make her more beautiful. We realized I hadn't done her hair since I was in school and she wanted to see how almost 10 years of experience had improved my mad hair skills. And I think I passed the test, She look good when we were done :)
After picking up Lucy from her Dads house. We made our way down to Kimberly to Tasha's house, and waited for the rest of the crew to join us the next day. We had so much fun sledding and playing games. Mandi put together an awesome slide show of pictures and the kids put on the nativity scene and Mandi also played the violin for us.The best surprise was Kim's. Traditionally she makes us all awesome, homemade stockings. This year she did that and gave us one of my Dad's bears out of his huge collection. It made the weekend a little more special. The next day just the ladies were able to get away for some quality sister, sister time.
Not sure if I should include this, but this year has been a hard one. I feel like I have lost a lot. Being with my family made me realize how much I have. I missed a lot of events in the past, but I'm happy to know that there will be many, many more to see and support in the future. I love my crazy 3 ring circus family and can't imagine what it would be like if I didn't have you all. Thank you for all you do and loving me and Lucy.
Christmas was a little different this year. I worked Christmas Eve and Lucy went to her Dads house for the day so we opened her presents that night. She was rather excided about her cot! Silly kid. We put cookies out for Santa, but I'm not sure she got the concept. Even when she found the empty plate and toy...Katie flew in from Texas on Christmas day. I picked her up from the airport and we headed to the salon to make her more beautiful. We realized I hadn't done her hair since I was in school and she wanted to see how almost 10 years of experience had improved my mad hair skills. And I think I passed the test, She look good when we were done :)
After picking up Lucy from her Dads house. We made our way down to Kimberly to Tasha's house, and waited for the rest of the crew to join us the next day. We had so much fun sledding and playing games. Mandi put together an awesome slide show of pictures and the kids put on the nativity scene and Mandi also played the violin for us.The best surprise was Kim's. Traditionally she makes us all awesome, homemade stockings. This year she did that and gave us one of my Dad's bears out of his huge collection. It made the weekend a little more special. The next day just the ladies were able to get away for some quality sister, sister time.
Not sure if I should include this, but this year has been a hard one. I feel like I have lost a lot. Being with my family made me realize how much I have. I missed a lot of events in the past, but I'm happy to know that there will be many, many more to see and support in the future. I love my crazy 3 ring circus family and can't imagine what it would be like if I didn't have you all. Thank you for all you do and loving me and Lucy.
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Christmas on Temple Square
I know I keep saying this but wow this year has flown by. I wouldn't say it was one of my best years, but I can say that I am happier now than I was this time last year. Having the holidays so close. I haven't had time to stop and really get into the Christmas spirit, but the lights on temple square are always the trick for me.
It was a quick trip down to Utah. But we managed to fill it up with family. Korey and Tasha were nice enough and had room to let Lucy and I hop in with them, which made the drive lots better. Lucy was so good.
We got down there Saturday afternoon, went shopping and ice skating and then caught up with the rest of the group to see Santa, eat dinner and walk around temple square and down town a bit. Lucy didn't particularly enjoy Santa. and was pretty tired while we walked around to see the lights. But I think she enjoyed the lights.
Next morning we went up to visit Dad's grave. Its hard to believe its been two years.
In honor of Grandma Sells we made Christmas ornaments at Missy's house before heading home. Lucy sat quietly watching and then put a bunch of beads on needles like everyone else was doing. Tasha Helped her put them on her ornament. (smart little girl)
It was a quick trip down to Utah. But we managed to fill it up with family. Korey and Tasha were nice enough and had room to let Lucy and I hop in with them, which made the drive lots better. Lucy was so good.
We got down there Saturday afternoon, went shopping and ice skating and then caught up with the rest of the group to see Santa, eat dinner and walk around temple square and down town a bit. Lucy didn't particularly enjoy Santa. and was pretty tired while we walked around to see the lights. But I think she enjoyed the lights.
Next morning we went up to visit Dad's grave. Its hard to believe its been two years.
In honor of Grandma Sells we made Christmas ornaments at Missy's house before heading home. Lucy sat quietly watching and then put a bunch of beads on needles like everyone else was doing. Tasha Helped her put them on her ornament. (smart little girl)
Lucys First Haircut
Cut Lucy's hair for the first time on the 4th. She sat so still and was so good. I took off 2 inches. I can't believe that it makes her look older. Little sassy girl.
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Lucy in December
All I can say, is that Lucy keeps me on my toes! She is so busy. I have described her before as part ninja part tornado and I think that about sums it up.
She has figured out how to put pants on. And she likes to do it by herself. Lately I will dress her in a cute outfit, only to find her 5 mins later in different pants. Sometimes she doesn't bother taking off the other ones and just wears 2-4 pairs of pants! Today She ran up to me to tell me she was poopy, I took off 3 pairs of pants and 4 skirts!
She loves to sing and sings her own tune all the time. Same goes for the language, I can translate about 60% of what comes out of her mouth. The 40% I cant understand is always interesting and followed with expressive looks like I should know exactly what she is saying.
One of her favorite things to do, is pull all my kitchen towels out and tuck her babies and lambie (sometimes Frank) in all over the place with them.
She is defiantly a all girl! Whenever we go shopping and pass a shoe department she gets excited and pulls her shoes off.
She also likes to wear my make up! It has begun, She got into my purse and my lipstick, after taking a bite out of it, "yuck, mom" she put some on her face and came and said "oo, pretty mom" When ever I get done doing her hair and changing her earing she says "oh'so pretty" and gives me the corniest little grin. She loves to brush her teeth too.
Lucy is starting to be a little nicer to Frank. Its funny because she will tell him to lay down and sit, and he just doesn't speak Lucy yet. She also tells him "outside potty frank" every morning and he just looks at me like really? I have to take orders from the pip squeak too?
Lucy seems to have developed a hollow leg, she eats so much! There have been a few times I look to see where Frank is or pick her up and look around her because I can't believe how much she ate and how quickly.
Its crazy how she learns peoples names, and how to copy me. But she is still content to paint or play with play dough. She takes directions really well, when I unload the dryer hand her kitchen towels to put away or she will throw things away for me.
I was making cupcakes and she was so excited, pointing and saying "cake, mmm, mom! cake!"
I think we are about to try the potty training thing again. She knows when she needs her diaper changed and even used the toilet a couple times in the mornings when we are home. She grabbed her jar of m and m's and said "to potty?" So its time to give it another go.
Went to the botanical gardens the other night and thought we were going to freeze to death! But the lights were pretty and the fire barrels amazing.
She has figured out how to put pants on. And she likes to do it by herself. Lately I will dress her in a cute outfit, only to find her 5 mins later in different pants. Sometimes she doesn't bother taking off the other ones and just wears 2-4 pairs of pants! Today She ran up to me to tell me she was poopy, I took off 3 pairs of pants and 4 skirts!
She loves to sing and sings her own tune all the time. Same goes for the language, I can translate about 60% of what comes out of her mouth. The 40% I cant understand is always interesting and followed with expressive looks like I should know exactly what she is saying.
One of her favorite things to do, is pull all my kitchen towels out and tuck her babies and lambie (sometimes Frank) in all over the place with them.
She is defiantly a all girl! Whenever we go shopping and pass a shoe department she gets excited and pulls her shoes off.
She also likes to wear my make up! It has begun, She got into my purse and my lipstick, after taking a bite out of it, "yuck, mom" she put some on her face and came and said "oo, pretty mom" When ever I get done doing her hair and changing her earing she says "oh'so pretty" and gives me the corniest little grin. She loves to brush her teeth too.
Lucy is starting to be a little nicer to Frank. Its funny because she will tell him to lay down and sit, and he just doesn't speak Lucy yet. She also tells him "outside potty frank" every morning and he just looks at me like really? I have to take orders from the pip squeak too?
Lucy seems to have developed a hollow leg, she eats so much! There have been a few times I look to see where Frank is or pick her up and look around her because I can't believe how much she ate and how quickly.
Its crazy how she learns peoples names, and how to copy me. But she is still content to paint or play with play dough. She takes directions really well, when I unload the dryer hand her kitchen towels to put away or she will throw things away for me.
I was making cupcakes and she was so excited, pointing and saying "cake, mmm, mom! cake!"
I think we are about to try the potty training thing again. She knows when she needs her diaper changed and even used the toilet a couple times in the mornings when we are home. She grabbed her jar of m and m's and said "to potty?" So its time to give it another go.
Went to the botanical gardens the other night and thought we were going to freeze to death! But the lights were pretty and the fire barrels amazing.
Monday, December 2, 2013
Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving was a bit different for us this year. Lucy and I went over to Randi's house and be apart of their family for the evening. Thank you so much for having us over. Lucy and Annabel seemed to play well, at one point the two little divas were comparing, nail polished toes. And after dinner Grayson and Lucy brought us more play food to eat. Its crazy how fast the girls have grown.
We kept the old tradition of pull-apart bread and hot chocolate for breakfast and put up the Christmas tree. Lucy was quick to take off all the ornaments she could reach and hoard them in her baby bed. It gives me a new chore before bed, to not only do dishes, clean up her toys and make our lunches. but re-gather the ornaments and put them back on the tree. I also learned quickly that the 5 glass ornaments that I have left go at the top of the tree where little hands cant reach. I am glad she enjoys the tree so much, its been a while since I've had one.
Lucy seems to love lights, I can't wait to get her out more this season to see Christmas lights. We drove by a large blue tree the other night and she said " ohhh, mama! tree!" She has always loved the lights, I remember her first Christmas I could stick her in her bumbo and put her in front of the lights and she was thrilled, she also loved to lay under Grandmas Christmas tree.
Thanksgiving night we drove down to spend the rest of the weekend with the Solomon Family. Got to go shopping and took Lucy to her first movie, Frozen. It was very cute. She did rather well, I think she got a little board in the last 20 mins or so. But she was pretty happy with her popcorn and drink.
We also went to see Santa turn the lights on in Rupert. She seemed rather startled when Santa rubbed her arm and said hi. It should be fun to see what she thinks when we take her to see him next week.
Thankful for the wonderful friends and family that add so much to our lives. Love you guys, not sure how I would have made it this year without you thank you for all your support.
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We kept the old tradition of pull-apart bread and hot chocolate for breakfast and put up the Christmas tree. Lucy was quick to take off all the ornaments she could reach and hoard them in her baby bed. It gives me a new chore before bed, to not only do dishes, clean up her toys and make our lunches. but re-gather the ornaments and put them back on the tree. I also learned quickly that the 5 glass ornaments that I have left go at the top of the tree where little hands cant reach. I am glad she enjoys the tree so much, its been a while since I've had one.
Lucy seems to love lights, I can't wait to get her out more this season to see Christmas lights. We drove by a large blue tree the other night and she said " ohhh, mama! tree!" She has always loved the lights, I remember her first Christmas I could stick her in her bumbo and put her in front of the lights and she was thrilled, she also loved to lay under Grandmas Christmas tree.
Thanksgiving night we drove down to spend the rest of the weekend with the Solomon Family. Got to go shopping and took Lucy to her first movie, Frozen. It was very cute. She did rather well, I think she got a little board in the last 20 mins or so. But she was pretty happy with her popcorn and drink.
We also went to see Santa turn the lights on in Rupert. She seemed rather startled when Santa rubbed her arm and said hi. It should be fun to see what she thinks when we take her to see him next week.
Thankful for the wonderful friends and family that add so much to our lives. Love you guys, not sure how I would have made it this year without you thank you for all your support.
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Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Grateful
I got the opportunity to get out for a run today. The weather was perfect, the leaves were pretty, the sun was still out. I felt like it was an easy day to look for my many blessings, which was our challenge in young women's for this week.
With every large change that has happened this year, the thought that next year will be better, has come with it. That things will settle down and be normal again. That right now I am just running this race of survival, tomorrow I'll catch up, but today I realized, that changes in life are normal, and rolling with the punches is healthy. I rarely slow down enough to just roll with it. I always feel like I'm rushing from one thing to the next. For the first time in a very long time the other day, I laid in bed and just enjoyed the silence. I normally feel sad, that there isn't a little girl running around terrorizing the dog or I make the endless list of the things I have to do. I am learning how to slow down, and realize that I just need to roll with the waves of life.
I haven't said much after my facebook rant- sorry- and looking back I realized that maybe I was still a little angry...possibly a lot. So, I'm sorry to those that might have been offended and I am grateful for those that still stuck with me.
I am grateful for the life that I am living.I have a nice home to raise Lucy in, a good job that is building quickly and the opportunities that are necessary. I am grateful for the inner strength that I have been given, and the faith to know that things work out the way they are suppose to. I am grateful to be in the young women's program, it reminds me of goals and dreams that I once had, that can be mine again. I am grateful that I can feel the love that heavenly father has for me. I am grateful for the hand of guidance that I have been given. It hasn't been the easiest road and there have been many dark days and hours but they are becoming fewer and further apart, and I know its because of him. I am grateful for the people that have been placed around me, that strengthen and lift me. I have truly been surrounded by some incredible people. I am grateful for the opportunity to be a mom, to an amazing little girl. I am grateful for every moment I get to spend with her. I am grateful for the challenges and strength she brings with her. I am grateful to be able to learn new things, and for a job that allows me to be flexible. I am grateful for many things in my little life right now, and could go on but for the fear of being struck down while I'm feeling good I know I should stop, But I still often think why not me. I have been blessed with much, and it was pointed out to me the other day, that the best years of my life are ahead of me and not behind. I suppose I am grateful for the challenges, struggles and heart brake that I have endured to make me who I am today.
With every large change that has happened this year, the thought that next year will be better, has come with it. That things will settle down and be normal again. That right now I am just running this race of survival, tomorrow I'll catch up, but today I realized, that changes in life are normal, and rolling with the punches is healthy. I rarely slow down enough to just roll with it. I always feel like I'm rushing from one thing to the next. For the first time in a very long time the other day, I laid in bed and just enjoyed the silence. I normally feel sad, that there isn't a little girl running around terrorizing the dog or I make the endless list of the things I have to do. I am learning how to slow down, and realize that I just need to roll with the waves of life.
I haven't said much after my facebook rant- sorry- and looking back I realized that maybe I was still a little angry...possibly a lot. So, I'm sorry to those that might have been offended and I am grateful for those that still stuck with me.
I am grateful for the life that I am living.I have a nice home to raise Lucy in, a good job that is building quickly and the opportunities that are necessary. I am grateful for the inner strength that I have been given, and the faith to know that things work out the way they are suppose to. I am grateful to be in the young women's program, it reminds me of goals and dreams that I once had, that can be mine again. I am grateful that I can feel the love that heavenly father has for me. I am grateful for the hand of guidance that I have been given. It hasn't been the easiest road and there have been many dark days and hours but they are becoming fewer and further apart, and I know its because of him. I am grateful for the people that have been placed around me, that strengthen and lift me. I have truly been surrounded by some incredible people. I am grateful for the opportunity to be a mom, to an amazing little girl. I am grateful for every moment I get to spend with her. I am grateful for the challenges and strength she brings with her. I am grateful to be able to learn new things, and for a job that allows me to be flexible. I am grateful for many things in my little life right now, and could go on but for the fear of being struck down while I'm feeling good I know I should stop, But I still often think why not me. I have been blessed with much, and it was pointed out to me the other day, that the best years of my life are ahead of me and not behind. I suppose I am grateful for the challenges, struggles and heart brake that I have endured to make me who I am today.
Sunday, November 3, 2013
November Already
Well cold and flu season is here! Though I guess I shouldn't complain, since Lucy is quite the trooper when she is sick.
This past month has some how gone even quicker. I don't even know where to start! I was looking under my bed today looking for the lap top and Lucy came up to me and pulled my pants out and said "mama, poopy?" I couldn't stop laughing! She picks up on everything! It's so funny.
I asked her if she wanted to shower the other morning and she looked and me shrugged, and said "not right now, mama"! seriously where does she get this stuff?
Seems like Frank is more abused by the day. Poor dog is always running from her or sharing his little basket with her.
Seems like she grows by leaps and bounds everyday. I turn around and she knows a new phrase or has figured out how to get into something else.
She is still all about her baby and books. Loves cliff bars and ravioli. If you ask her what color something is, it is always pink, though she does know orange. We work on colors at home and at daycare.
There are evenings I sit and just watch her, and I just can't believe how incredible she is. She is almost always happy, she runs up and hugs my legs as tight as she can and I cant think of a better feeling in the world. I love when she freely kisses me, even the wettest ones are my favorite thing ever.
These past few weeks with daycare have made her a little more clingy, but I'm not going to complain. She always wants to cuddle for a few minuets after I pull her out of the shower and bundle her in a towel. I look forward to it. Those few short minutes when she is so happy to lay her head on my shoulder, and just rock. Best part of the day, I figure I better soak it all up, before she decides she's done with me, and can do it all herself.
Today I was standing at the counter eating and she kept saying sit down. It took me a minute to follow what she was wanting, but I sat down at the table with her and then she said prayers mama, folded her arms and bowed her head. She is so smart and reminds me that I need to try harder and be better. I don't always remember to pray over food when I'm by myself, I'm thankful that she makes it hard to forget.
This past month has some how gone even quicker. I don't even know where to start! I was looking under my bed today looking for the lap top and Lucy came up to me and pulled my pants out and said "mama, poopy?" I couldn't stop laughing! She picks up on everything! It's so funny.
I asked her if she wanted to shower the other morning and she looked and me shrugged, and said "not right now, mama"! seriously where does she get this stuff?
Seems like Frank is more abused by the day. Poor dog is always running from her or sharing his little basket with her.
Seems like she grows by leaps and bounds everyday. I turn around and she knows a new phrase or has figured out how to get into something else.
She is still all about her baby and books. Loves cliff bars and ravioli. If you ask her what color something is, it is always pink, though she does know orange. We work on colors at home and at daycare.
There are evenings I sit and just watch her, and I just can't believe how incredible she is. She is almost always happy, she runs up and hugs my legs as tight as she can and I cant think of a better feeling in the world. I love when she freely kisses me, even the wettest ones are my favorite thing ever.
These past few weeks with daycare have made her a little more clingy, but I'm not going to complain. She always wants to cuddle for a few minuets after I pull her out of the shower and bundle her in a towel. I look forward to it. Those few short minutes when she is so happy to lay her head on my shoulder, and just rock. Best part of the day, I figure I better soak it all up, before she decides she's done with me, and can do it all herself.
Today I was standing at the counter eating and she kept saying sit down. It took me a minute to follow what she was wanting, but I sat down at the table with her and then she said prayers mama, folded her arms and bowed her head. She is so smart and reminds me that I need to try harder and be better. I don't always remember to pray over food when I'm by myself, I'm thankful that she makes it hard to forget.
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