Memorial Day Weekend

So, Memorial day use to be just another holiday I forgot existed after high school. But, This year I had the opportunity to go to my Dads grave with the Counters and Kim. I think Dad would have been happy. My memories of my Dad are random and scattered for some reason.
 I am thankful for the Dad that he was. I never doubted that he loved me. I hope that my accomplishments and path have/can make him proud. I wasn't the best daughter and I know I could have done more. But I am thankful for the times I had with him. It seems like I can look back at visits with him where we were able to have even just a few minuets of one and one time that was special. I hope that he is watching over Lucy.
Last Sunday I was also able to attend sacrament meeting in the Joseph Smith Memorial building. Where a very cute young couple had been asked to speak. The Young lady stood up and spoke about the definition of hope, that hope is something we can control. Her husband then stood smiling and talked about how we were sent here to be happy. That we can be happy through our trials and to myself I sat and thought really? You're young newly weds, what could you possible know about being happy through your trials? After having some time to really think on the topic I realized, (yet again). I need an attitude adjustment. That he is correct, we have our trials so that we can more fully appreciate the good things in our lives.
I got Lucy out of the shower first this morning and then proceeded to dry myself off and put on some clothes before looking for her, big mistake, I walked out to the front room to find, a big turd on the floor, great. I quickly rinsed her off and dressed her, and then while scouting out my cleaning supplies I thought, I should grateful for the turd on the floor because it means my little "turd" is home with me, And she is apparently very healthy. As I watch her today I realize how big she is really getting. She knows what she wants, what she doesn't want, how to ask for things, how to get into things. We went to the grocery store, and she had to have her shoes and her hat. When we returned home she walked in the door, put her hat on the table, and then took her shoes off and put them on the table next to her hat. I know things will get more difficult as she gets older, but I am grateful that she is smart and strong...someone may have to remind me I said that but I pray that her strength will keep her out of worldly troubles.

   

Mothers Day and Lucy's Blessing

Thank you EVERYONE that came to Lucy's blessing. Grandpa Dean gave Lucy a beautiful blessing on the evening of Saturday May 11th.
Mothers Day was nice too. Had the chance to sit back relax and enjoy the nice weather.

Blessed

There have been so many changes lately. Every once in a while I think what was it like to have a "normal" life? and then I realize that there is no normal, there is no set blue print that our Father in Heaven sets for us. We are expected to try our best to be like him. I know he hears my prayers, daily, hourly...in fact I'm sure he wishes I would pipe it down a bit. There have been so many adjustments and shifts in just the past few months. I feel like I've been blind folded, spun around and told to find north.  I have tripped, I have fallen, I've been dusted off and stood back up and Through it all, I look at Lucy and think what a blessing she is, how cute she is, what an amazing gift, and I get to be her mom. I pray I can do it right, I pray that I can be what she needs when she needs it. I pray that she will understand that all the choices that I've made in my life have been done with purpose. I pray that she will always know what a light she is in, not only my life, but others. She is the stength I needed to remind me that I am going to be ok. That Heavenly Father loves me just as much, if not more than I love her. I know he wants me to succeed. I know that we've all been challenged to bare our testimony, and I am light years away from standing up in sacerment meeting. But I know the church is true. I know God hears and answers prayers, we may not always see it, but I know he is always working on them. I know he loves me. This sounds a bit like a narrative from many others, but it has taken me time to truly come to the knowledge of these things, to be able to say it for myself, that I KNOW.
I am grateful for the people that he has placed around me, for the people that have stood up to help me when I've been down. I have been surprised by many, that have offered words of encouragement and understanding.
I am so grateful for the spirit and is guidance in my life. I have recently been able to go back to the temple and feel the peace that comes within is walls. I know that I need to be there, I know that's what I need. I have been praying for direction for months now, and that was the first place I was directed. My first time back I was nervous and antsy hoping to find all the answers I had been looking and so desperate for, some of them came. Others I know I am not ready for but they will be answered in time. I am grateful for all I have been given and the people that have helped me along the way.
This weekend Lucy will be blessed by her Grandpa Dean, I have been torn up about it. Thinking it should have been done sooner, But I realize that to move forward I can not look back. That our road to happiness lies in front of us. We must keep moving on. We cannot have fear and faith.

19 Months

19 months! I think we are starting into the terrible twos... Lucy is smart and sassy! She has added yogurt, shoes, please, book to her ever growing vocabulary. She runs and has just started to jump, or I guess I should say try and jump. Whenever there is music playing on the T.V. or my Ipad or a even just a toy she will stop and dance, sway side to side to stomp her feet side to side. She has good rhythm! She loves going to the park and climbing the steps and running over to the slide. She has also just started going down the slide by herself, where I catch her. She mothers her baby dolls and has tea parties at her table. She still loves to chase Frank. She is still mastering patty cake, patty cake. and tries to do the Itsy bitsy spider. Everything is still a phone. She eats pretty well and still has a thing for grandma Joan's home canned peaches and apples. She has figured out that she can move her chairs over to the bean bag and use it to climb into the bean bag. She has also just discovered that she can reach the top drawers in the kitchen, Where she will blindly open and reach into one...cute...Right? She is obsessed with shoes, always wants them on or off or to carry them around. Its even cuter when she tries on my shoes and carefully walks around in them, not always successfully but she makes it work.
Nursery seems to be going alright. The walk to nursery is like a parade, she has wave to everyone and says bye, or yells bye till someone looks. Once we make it to the room she is unsure of all the other kids. Chad and I joke that its because she is like him, and hates other kids.
It is amazing to watch her grow, everyday seems like something new. She is in the 70th percentile for height and head and the 30th for weight, so she is tall and skinny just like her mama and papa.
Its getting to be garden time! I was watering in some fertilizer and Lucy found the sprinkler! She loved it! Ran in and out of the water, laughing and giggling. She would bend over like she was getting a drink and then say ahhh and walk away. She is too much fun.