Me again

I know I say it all the time, and I ask people the same question. But really? Where has the time gone? Must it really go so quickly? We've been done with court for almost a month now but I am still waiting for all of it to sink in and feel real, final, done? Its so weird, I've been surfing of the waves of life and now that my waters have calmed down, I really have time to stop and think what do I want? What do I really want to do? I will admit that I normally enjoy the fast lane in life and its refreshing to slow down.
A good friend of mine, pointed out to me that I am always waiting for the other foot to drop. I quickly replied that it always does, that good things happen but bad things are always waiting for me around the corner. There is always another foot. She pointed out that sometimes the other foot may drop but can also be picked back up. I didn't really think about it till later the next day. But I realized that I do kind of wait for the negative to catch up with me. And in some ways it stops me from truly soaking up and enjoying where I am at.
So, I am thankful, for a house to keep up, weeds to pull, laundry to do, dishes to wash and toys on the floor. For the first time I realize it means, I have a house to live in, a yard for my daughter to play in, clothes to wear, food to eat and a spoiled little girl. I am blessed with a good life.
I've gotten back into running, and even signed up for a few races. While running this morning, with my wobbly stroller, opening markers and handing over snacks and sunglasses I started to wonder why do I bother? And then I realized that this is a blessing, I get to go running with my daughter. The mornings have been so much better. When Lucy wakes up, she comes and tells me she's hungry and then asks if we're going for a run. Normally Lucy does awesome with our runs as long as they are 30-40 mins. As I increase the distance and time she is not quiet as happy so the snacks and special activity boards have come out, but when we get home she doesn't ask for tv and is happy to run around the house and play, even getting to daycare has been easier. So I will no longer use her as the excuse not to go and be happy to set the example of a healthy life style.
I recognized another thing I need to work on, thanks to some good friends. I over think situations in my mind, I try and look at everything from every possible angle. And I try to see how logical it is, or isn't. and when it isn't I pull back. If there is a minor chance of getting hurt I shut down completely. Funny thing is, The best advice I give to clients and friends is, think about it in two's. how will you feel in two weeks? two months? and in two years? Life is not logical. We set out to make our journey as easy as possible, point a to point b- But some how we get rerouted, bumped, scrapped and sometimes pushed off the road. I want to protect myself and Lucy at every turn. But at what cost? What am I missing out on? Life, I am missing out on life, I've been made strong for a reason, so why not? Can a person have to many scratches, bruises and bumps?